So lately some of my posts have been more geared towards all you females...so I wanted to put up a post that both us ladies and gents can all relate to....On the topic of the X factor...or more like the EX factor.
So I had the topic of exes on my mind today...and for most of you....we all have an ex of some kind..ex-boyfriend...ex-girlfriend...and maybe it ended on good terms...or maybe it was WW3..either way...we all have to deal with exes and moving on from the ex. I am here today to shed a little light on the topic of exes...give tips to guys and girls and teach how to move on in a positive way. Be forewarned this is long but hopefully helpful to you!
MY STORY
Ok so I'm not going to really get into who my exes are or what issues we had but, I will tell you how I Used to act when dealing with a breakup. The first time I ever felt real heartbreak I couldn't deal. I felt so depressed...so sad...often very angry at times..."Did I push him to end things"..."How can I change so he'll want me back?"...I slowly started slipping into a depression of sorts. The #1 problem I had was I was dwelling...I Let myself feel sad...I Fed into being sad and sat looking at old pictures...reminiscing old texts..layed in bed for hours every night and every morning thinking about him or memories with us...this my friends...is the unhealthiest thing I could do. Any holiday..I would say to myself "Aww...we spent last thanksgiving together"...."Aww I went here with him..or we did this activity together." I kept thinking I'm NEVER GOING TO FIND ANOTHER GUY AGAIN..I'M DOOMED TO BE ALONE!! Then I met a new guy who pulled me out of my rut and made me happier than I had been in a long time...fell completely in love and then bam 8 months later it was all over and I was back to this depressed state. This time I knew it was possible to find someone else but I couldn't help but feed into my nature that I needed to fix things...for months and months we continued "Seeing" each other until it finally ended. This time round I was determined to not let it destroy me like it had in the past and I turned to this amazing book called, "The Moses Code" sort of the same idea as the " The Secret" but much more in depth on how to bring what you want to you, which allowed me to completely change my thinking where I now don't want to even waste one day feeling sorry for myself.
Now...I have a complete 180 degree look on things...and I will now share how all of you can get to this place..
SMACK HIM EX-BOYFRIEND PUNCHING BAG - PINK CHIC
Tips from a girl to the girls
Now from the girl perspective...when a relationship ends many of us may dwell on the situation. If you were the one who was broken up with, you may ask the question to yourself "What's wrong with me?"..."What could I have done differently?"..."Is he talking to another girl?"..."Was I not pretty enough?"...this is called the blame game. Now maybe you did make a few mistakes...If you cheated and he broke up with you...now that's a different story but maybe your guy just lost interest or didn't feel the connection anymore. If your the breakup-ee than you still may feel sad to not have that person in your life.
1. Let it out- when it's first over cry...watch sad romantic movies...stuff your face..allow yourself to feel the loss of the relationship..and give yourself a period of time to do it in. It's natural to be sad..but don't let it take over your whole life for more than a few weeks. If your still angry...purchase the handy boyfriend punching bag above...you can insert a picture of your ex and safely get your frustrations out! haha
Tips from a girl to the guys
Now to all you guys out there : If you were the one who broke up with your gf..give her the reason. Theres nothing worse for girls than not understanding why the relationship ended and even though it may be hard to say the truth..telling the whole reason for the breakup can save you alot of angry voicemails and allow for a possible friendship in the future. If you were the one who was broken up with and aren't taking it well you can still apply the above tips for the girls. You probably won't be trying to watch sappy movies and cry all the time but you can still apply the same concept of allowing yourself the time to be sad.
1. Seek happiness in being single not revenge - Many guys I have known want to get revenge on girls who have broken up with them...either by hooking up with other girls so the ex will find out and be jealous or even worse hooking up with their exes friend etc. Look to make yourself happy...if you like a new girl go for it...if not be ok with being single and on your own and don't feel the need to always be trying to fill that empty space of a girlfriend.
3 Rules for Both Guys and Girls
3. Forgiveness - Whether you were the breakup-ee or the one who ended it...forgiveness is key to letting go of the bad vibes and moving forward. If you made the mistakes forgive yourself and learn from it..if your holding on to the burden of having to be the breakup-ee than forgive yourself for having to hurt the other person but know that you did what you felt was right for you. Let go of any anger your holding against the other person for whatever reason and look forward to the future of the many unknowns that lay ahead of you.
MY STORY
Ok so I'm not going to really get into who my exes are or what issues we had but, I will tell you how I Used to act when dealing with a breakup. The first time I ever felt real heartbreak I couldn't deal. I felt so depressed...so sad...often very angry at times..."Did I push him to end things"..."How can I change so he'll want me back?"...I slowly started slipping into a depression of sorts. The #1 problem I had was I was dwelling...I Let myself feel sad...I Fed into being sad and sat looking at old pictures...reminiscing old texts..layed in bed for hours every night and every morning thinking about him or memories with us...this my friends...is the unhealthiest thing I could do. Any holiday..I would say to myself "Aww...we spent last thanksgiving together"...."Aww I went here with him..or we did this activity together." I kept thinking I'm NEVER GOING TO FIND ANOTHER GUY AGAIN..I'M DOOMED TO BE ALONE!! Then I met a new guy who pulled me out of my rut and made me happier than I had been in a long time...fell completely in love and then bam 8 months later it was all over and I was back to this depressed state. This time I knew it was possible to find someone else but I couldn't help but feed into my nature that I needed to fix things...for months and months we continued "Seeing" each other until it finally ended. This time round I was determined to not let it destroy me like it had in the past and I turned to this amazing book called, "The Moses Code" sort of the same idea as the " The Secret" but much more in depth on how to bring what you want to you, which allowed me to completely change my thinking where I now don't want to even waste one day feeling sorry for myself.
Now...I have a complete 180 degree look on things...and I will now share how all of you can get to this place..
Tips from a girl to the girls
Now from the girl perspective...when a relationship ends many of us may dwell on the situation. If you were the one who was broken up with, you may ask the question to yourself "What's wrong with me?"..."What could I have done differently?"..."Is he talking to another girl?"..."Was I not pretty enough?"...this is called the blame game. Now maybe you did make a few mistakes...If you cheated and he broke up with you...now that's a different story but maybe your guy just lost interest or didn't feel the connection anymore. If your the breakup-ee than you still may feel sad to not have that person in your life.
1. Let it out- when it's first over cry...watch sad romantic movies...stuff your face..allow yourself to feel the loss of the relationship..and give yourself a period of time to do it in. It's natural to be sad..but don't let it take over your whole life for more than a few weeks. If your still angry...purchase the handy boyfriend punching bag above...you can insert a picture of your ex and safely get your frustrations out! haha
Now to all you guys out there : If you were the one who broke up with your gf..give her the reason. Theres nothing worse for girls than not understanding why the relationship ended and even though it may be hard to say the truth..telling the whole reason for the breakup can save you alot of angry voicemails and allow for a possible friendship in the future. If you were the one who was broken up with and aren't taking it well you can still apply the above tips for the girls. You probably won't be trying to watch sappy movies and cry all the time but you can still apply the same concept of allowing yourself the time to be sad.
1. Seek happiness in being single not revenge - Many guys I have known want to get revenge on girls who have broken up with them...either by hooking up with other girls so the ex will find out and be jealous or even worse hooking up with their exes friend etc. Look to make yourself happy...if you like a new girl go for it...if not be ok with being single and on your own and don't feel the need to always be trying to fill that empty space of a girlfriend.
3 Rules for Both Guys and Girls
1. Find the Problem - Now i'm not saying beat yourself up over it..but breakups and relationships can teach you a lot about yourself and can often give you the time to see your mistakes or problems in your life to fix. This is the positive of breaking up...self reflection...so reflect away and use the time your single to better yourself for you and fix the error of your ways.
2. Do Something new- Start doing things you've never done before and have wanted to do or pick up a new activity/hobby to keep yourself busy. You will get a chance to do new things and realize that theres still alot of great new experiences out there even though your single. And you never know if while doing these activities, you meet new friends or even a potential new guy or girl!
3. Forgiveness - Whether you were the breakup-ee or the one who ended it...forgiveness is key to letting go of the bad vibes and moving forward. If you made the mistakes forgive yourself and learn from it..if your holding on to the burden of having to be the breakup-ee than forgive yourself for having to hurt the other person but know that you did what you felt was right for you. Let go of any anger your holding against the other person for whatever reason and look forward to the future of the many unknowns that lay ahead of you.
The positive of breaking up...self reflection...so reflect away and use the time your single to better yourself for YOU and not for anyone else. If your constantly trying to look prettier...look stronger...be funnier...have more money...just to attract someone else your not really making yourself happy. Look great for yourself...give yourself that confidence boost for you! In time, once you have made your life happy for you...than someone will come along and see that them being in the picture is only the icing on the cake to the great life you have built for yourself.
What we all need to understand both GUYS and GIRLS...is that all relationships fail until the one time it doesn't. Not every single person is meant to be with us for the rest of our lives. If we didn't open ourselves up in the begginning to find out where the relationship could go, than we would never know if that person was right for us or not. The big picture is yes...love...heartbreak...it's all going to be hard..how could it not when it's a matter of the heart. If your going through a breakup right now...if you have been broken up with your Ex for 6 months or a year...you may still be struggling with it. You may occasionally miss the person. It's hard and difficult and often times we get so close with the person and their families and friends...that it feels strange to not have them in your life anymore.
But think back on all the people who have come into and out of your life...not even just bf's or gf's..best friends...family..You probably have a list of people you no longer keep in contact with yet them being in your life for that time was necessary. Do you look back on your old childhood friend who you no longer know and feel depressed over that loss of relationship..No..there was a reason they were there for that time and theres a reason they no longer are. We all outgrow things from toys...to friends...to relationships.
I leave you with this...as the true romantic at heart...if you love someone and think theres something special there fight for them until you can't fight any longer...at least you will have done all you can. If your meant to be together..some how...in some way you will find your way back to each other...if not someone else is out there waiting for you! If your sad right now, know it won't be a permanent feeling...life is too great to spend our days in unhappy relationships or sit there feeling sorry for yourself. Get out into the word and invoke the vervefelicity lifestyle to create your own happiness and to allow all the amazing things the world has to offer into your life!
~ Create. Live. Inspire. ~
But think back on all the people who have come into and out of your life...not even just bf's or gf's..best friends...family..You probably have a list of people you no longer keep in contact with yet them being in your life for that time was necessary. Do you look back on your old childhood friend who you no longer know and feel depressed over that loss of relationship..No..there was a reason they were there for that time and theres a reason they no longer are. We all outgrow things from toys...to friends...to relationships.
~ Create. Live. Inspire. ~
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